What does it mean to be a “strong woman”? I hear that term bandied about by others, and I’ll admit it, not infrequently in my own head. Always this illusive objective. Why is it always that adjective? And what does that say about me?
My favorite picture of my grandmother is this image of this very fifties housewife, in a silk blouse and pearls holding up my infant father. It really captivates me. She’s not unfamiliar. But she’s not known to me, either. In my memory she’s wearing polyester slacks and a v-neck sleeveless button up shirt, and she’s bent over in a strawberry field picking with me and my little sister. She’s putting my grandpa’s supper down on the TV tray as they sit down to watch People’s Court. She’s getting under the blankets with me and watching Karate Kid on the TV in her room during one of our Friday night sleepovers, because tonight it’s my turn.
And I think there is always this magical mystery to grandparents because you arrive on the scene so far into their story. If I stop to think about it, I could mine my grandmother’s life for romance and drama and adventure and heartache. But I won’t. Because it is enough to know from the sketch I’ve been given that she too, has experienced such things.
Is she a “strong woman”? She came to a new country and taught herself a new language and crafted for herself a new life. She also suffered pregnancy loss and survived. So maybe, yes, she passes the litmus test for strength and fortitude.
But her gift to me is not words of wisdom for my road ahead. In fact, I can’t think of a single conversation I have had with her that has been remarkable. They haven’t had to be, because her life is remarkable. Not because she has independent wealth, or a thriving social life, or physical veracity. She has none of those things. In all things, she has just enough and for the rest she rests in her quiet and steadfast faith.
How hard is it to live like that? With just enough for each day and each challenge as it comes. We all want the force of belief, the hope, and the love it takes to move a mountain. But how easy is it to find satisfaction in merely the strength it takes for each leg of the path up to the summit when it becomes clear that the biggest hills in our lives refuse to be budged?
My Nana gave me this old Ball blue jar that I like to keep vanilla sugar in on my counter. She gave it to me last winter when I was at her house and I will always treasure it. It represents a link. My emerging interest in preserving comes from her. Whenever I see a mason jar I think of dill pickles, freezer jam, and her. This past summer, for the first time, I put up over a hundred jars of jams, relishes, and fruit and filled my chest freezer to the top with the harvest’s bounty. I know that in carrying on this part of her passion, my Nana was proud. Yet, what I want to do more than anything is carry on throughout my life, not just her passions, but her character. Like opening a jar of July’s gems on a cold winter’s night, I find myself often in dark moments of my soul to be drawing on the legacy that she has placed within me. And that is the best preserving of all.
Do you have a recipe post or kitchen-related story to share on the Farm Bell blog?
See Farm Bell Blog Submissions for information, the latest blog contributor giveaway, and to submit a post.Want to subscribe to the Farm Bell blog? Go here.
bonita says:
A true lesson for you and others who had the gift of grandmothers. Thanks for sharing this story, especially for those of us who can only guess at what we missed.
On December 8, 2011 at 1:35 am
cincyjojo says:
mom2girls, this is such a beautiful story. I think you have a gift for writing. Thanks for sharing.
On December 8, 2011 at 4:32 am
kellyb says:
mom2girls,
What a lovely tribute to your grandmother. Thank you for sharing with us.
On December 8, 2011 at 6:53 am
Cathy J says:
This is one of the most beautiful things I have read in a long while. So glad you took the time to capture it for us, on here.
On December 8, 2011 at 7:58 am
CindyP says:
Beautifully written! Thank you for sharing!
On December 8, 2011 at 8:14 am
Kathi N says:
This post is awesome. I appreciated that it made me think about my grandmas, and I can always appreciate that. Thank you very much.
On December 8, 2011 at 9:06 am
Glenda says:
Sometimes it is just the “keeping on, keeping on” takes the most strength. My own mother was a great example of that.
This was a beautiful tribute to your grandmother.
On December 8, 2011 at 9:25 am
Lorraine Swazey says:
Oh what a wonderful story and thank you for bringing to mind my own two grandmothers-whom I was fortunate to have known so well and fondly! Have a wonderful Christmas season!!
On December 8, 2011 at 9:33 am
lisabetholson says:
Wonderful tribute to your grandmother. Your writing is different from others and I agree you should write more.
On December 8, 2011 at 10:13 am
Bev in CA says:
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful post. Our lives are touched by so much, but family is the cornerstone. I have many things given to me over the years. People who are here and those who have left us. When using them they instantly bring them into the room with me. I can see them and know them. Your Nana must be so proud of you, seeing all the wonderful things you have achieved. You have a special way with words!
On December 8, 2011 at 10:40 am
jerseylady says:
Thanks so much for telling about your Gram and the influence she has on you and your life. I feel the same way.
The more I research our family history and learn about the challenges my foremothers faced, the more grateful I am for them and their legacy. They kept the faith through thick and thin and passed it on. I am inspired and strengthened by their example.
I like to think that is what we do here in the CITR Community too. By sharing our experiences, we all are made stronger.
On December 8, 2011 at 12:06 pm
brookdale says:
What a wonderful tribute to your grandmother. My Grammy was from a couple decades before yours, but I feel the same way about her. You have a way with words that touched my heart today. Thank you!
On December 8, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Smallpeace says:
I don’t know if it’s the approaching holidays, or the magical effect of your grandma’s blue jar, but you’ve helped conjure images of my own grandma frying pierogies in her kitchen. Like you, I marvel at the strength my grandmother had to overcome poverty, cultural barriers, and other hardships, and still cheerfully carry on. We are so lucky to have known such women — and, in your case, to still have her in your life. Thanks for a lovely post.
On December 8, 2011 at 4:36 pm
Jeannie Brazell says:
Thanks for your post. It reminds me of my mother and grandmother. I come from a long line of ‘strong women’ and am very proud of each of them. They make me the woman I am today.
On December 9, 2011 at 11:28 am