I have a very laissez faire attitude about housework and I blame it on the stories my mother shared with me about her days as a young wife. My parents were married in June of 1944, between my father’s training as a medic/surgical tech and being shipped to Europe in the midst of World War II, and they cut things pretty close. They’d grown up together and were sweethearts long before the events of World War II, but they put off the important stuff perhaps a little later than they should have.
This was something they took to heart once Dad came back from Europe, more or less intact. They cherished every day they had together. They wanted children, but it wasn’t to be for a long time after they were married and in the end, it was probably a good thing.
My mother often told me that when our father called on a Friday afternoon before any children arrived and said, “Honey, lets load up the car and go to Cape Cod, or the Poconos, or to visit your sister,” she didn’t say something like, “Oh but the ironing isn’t done!” That ironing wasn’t going anywhere, but they sure did! Same with other household chores. What’s that? The kitchen floor needs mopping? HAH! It ain’t gonna matter!
Later, when kids and more responsibilities came along, she never forgot those early lessons. She’d learned that planning ahead for fun as well as for hard times was a worthwhile thing!
When she made a mess of the kitchen assembling one pan of lasagna, why not make TWO? Having a pan in the freezer was a great way to stretch time later on. She worked hard during canning time, but having that good food put by for the coming winter was not because ‘lean times’ were coming, it was so we could enjoy the GOOD times more.
Her sewing, which was nearly professional in quality, was not perfected because she was afraid she couldn’t afford nice things because of hard times. It was because she took pride in having things just the way she liked them, and so she could go out on their ‘date nights’ knowing she looked her best. Yes, they went dancing or out with friends almost every Saturday night, except for the Saturday nights we had potlucks at home or attended things at other people’s homes. Socializing is a valuable thing in so many ways, and people came over to visit us, not to ‘eyeball’ the house.
I learned from my mother not to whittle away at the good in life out of fear, but to treasure and plan for the good and get on with life. My mother died six days shy of their 57th wedding anniversary and I guess she had things figured out. I miss her, but I learned so much from her that I can’t complain too much.
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grandmatotwochicks says:
Your Mom was Beautiful! What a wonderful way to look at life, I love the fact that your Mom and Dad went out every Saturday night. What beautiful gifts she gave you!
On July 1, 2010 at 2:18 am
Leah says:
Your Mom is right cant spend 24/7 on housekeeping and miss out on some good times. Love the photo and enjoyed your post.
On July 1, 2010 at 7:25 am
kellyb says:
BuckeyeGirl what a lovely tribute to your beautiful mom. What great lessons and memories you have. Thanks for sharing with us.
On July 1, 2010 at 7:34 am
CindyP says:
A great post, Deb! Thank you for sharing your Mom’s great advice. She was a beautiful woman, with a beautiful outlook on life 🙂
On July 1, 2010 at 8:12 am
Patrice says:
You mom was very pretty. This post is a wonderful tribute to her. I should reread it and take some of the things to heart. It’s easy to get so into work that you lose sight of what is important.
On July 1, 2010 at 8:22 am
Gehl says:
I miss your mom too. Being my “2nd Mom”, she taught me a lot and gave me the best friend I’ve ever had and the best “better half”. Her children were worth waiting for. She was truly an beautiful woman with a great outlook on life. I can’t imagine my life without knowing her or her family.
On July 1, 2010 at 8:43 am
KentuckyFarmGirl says:
Beautiful post! Thank you for sharing it with us.
On July 1, 2010 at 8:49 am
marymac says:
Loved your story, and your mom was so right. There’s so much more to life than worrying about housework, do something that makes you happy. Beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman.
On July 1, 2010 at 8:50 am
Melinda says:
What a gorgeous lady! This was a beautiful memorial to your Mother. Thank you for sharing her with the rest of us.
On July 1, 2010 at 9:18 am
HeatherB -I Wanna Farm says:
Your mother was stunning! I’ve never seen an old picture with someone so beautiful when they weren’t an actress or a model. And what a perfect example of not letting the mundane, ‘necessary’ things get in the way of enjoying your family!
On July 1, 2010 at 11:28 am
LisaAJB says:
WOW, that’s an important lesson. Thanks for sharing and reminding us all. It makes me think that maybe it’s okay I don’t already have 2 children at 24. Your mom was a very beautiful lady.
On July 1, 2010 at 12:43 pm
rosemary+++ says:
Thanks for sharing What a wonderful outlook on life! Your Mother was a beautiful woman.
On July 1, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Susie says:
Your mom and dad made a sweet couple! No wonder you are so pretty to! Thank you for the sweet story!
On July 1, 2010 at 3:45 pm
DonnaTN says:
Wonderful words of wisdom!
On July 1, 2010 at 11:06 pm
rileysmom says:
You had such a wonderful role model! You can tell how much you loved your parents.
On July 2, 2010 at 12:23 pm
Sheryl - Runningtrails says:
Lovely post and a valuable lesson! I have the same attitude towards housework. My housework is almost nonexistant! There are so many things I would rather be doing, things that are so much more important to me!
On July 2, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Jill B says:
Such a wonderful story. One of my nieces friends came by the house one time at a time when everything was not in its place. His comment was I love the lived in look! I took that as a compliment.
On July 2, 2010 at 3:46 pm
Rhonda says:
Wonderful life story and great pictures.
On July 2, 2010 at 6:59 pm